Santa Alucard

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is my first story and all flames will be used against characters I don’t like or ignored

It is Christmas time in England but that doesn’t stop ghouls from attacking. So, of course, Alucard and his fledgling must get rid of them. Unfortunately, they get rid of one ghoul too many…

Rikku-chan/Alucard’s definitions: Children: tiny, living, breathing, germy little things

            “The mission is accomplished Master.” Alucard said with a smirk into his walkie-talkie. His fledgling, Ceres Victoria, stood off to the side looking through various shirts and skirts in a store. Alucard was, of all places, in the mall. Apparently a few dozen ghouls and their freak leader had attacked a mall for no obvious reason. It had been a quiet month and, since they were getting bored, Integra had allowed Alucard and Ceres to take care of the ghouls instead of sending out a bunch of the Geese.
             “Good, well then servant” before Integra could continue a woman’s loud scream was heard. Both vampires turned and saw a woman holding a Santa suit, with a ghoul’s arm still inside.
             “What’s the matter?” Integra’s voice demanded. Somehow the hysterical woman heard and answered.
        “Our Santa’s been eaten and the orphans are coming in an hour! We promised them Santa!” she wailed. Alucard looked at the woman without care and was preparing to leave when Integra spoke again.
       “Alucard, did you kill Santa?” Integra’s voice did not bode well to the vampire.
        “Police girl did.” Alucard replied immediately. Ceres looked up, an indignant expression on her face,
        “I did not! You wouldn’t let me!” she cried out. Alucard prepared himself for whatever Integra would say. But for a moment it was all silent except for the woman’s wailing and the sounds of the men cleaning up.
        “She promised them Santa?” There was another wail heard. The woman had just found the remains of Mrs. Claus. Even Integra winced at the deafening shrieks the woman was producing.
         “Yes Master.” Alucard replied hesitantly while Ceres tried to calm the woman down. The young vampire girl then used her own walkie-talkie to talk to Integra, unable to come up with anything else that would calm the banshee down.
         “Sir Integra, could I please stay behind for a little longer. I would like to replace Mrs. Claus.” The woman’s wailing immediately paused for a brief moment and everyone took a sigh of relief until,
           “BUT WE STILL NEED A SANTA!” Everyone winced, and Alucard and Ceres both covered their ears.
        “Alucard, you’re Santa until the orphans leave. Ceres you’re Mrs. Claus and everyone else is an elf.” Before Alucard could protest Integra had shut off her walkie-talkie.
            “Here’s the costume, it’s a good thing you’re the right height. You’ll just need a lot of padding and you’ll be perfect! Oh but what can we do about that hair?” the woman babbled immediately as she seemed to completely recover from the trauma she had just witnessed. She had a tape measurer out and Alucard was watching her warily as another woman suddenly appeared and led Ceres away.
           “This way dearie, we’re got to get you into costume.” By the time the orphans came everything had been cleaned up and the mall had been transformed into a winter wonderland. As if to crown their monumental achievement, in the middle was a set of giant crossed candy canes, in front of which was a gold and red velvet throne.  Upon the throne lounged a considerably thinner than usual Santa with a pair of odd orange sunglasses. He was scowling, a sight so scary that the orphans were reluctant to go near him. But standing just behind the horrifying Santa was a more welcoming sight. It was a woman dressed as Mrs. Claus. Her smile was warm and inviting and while her eyes were red they were much kinder than the sight of Santa. A lock of her blonde hair escaped from the white wig she wore.
            A man with a long orange braid, dressed as an elf, came up to the first child and cleared his throat awkwardly. The children shrank back slightly; the eye patch wasn’t very comforting.
           “So who wants to come see Santa first?” The children huddled together and then the head of the orphanage came in. He had been talking to the woman who had set up the whole thing. But as soon as he saw Santa…
“DIE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!” he shouted and the Paladin priest Alexander was rushing at Santa Alucard, weapons out.
“Tanta!” cried a little girl and suddenly Alucard found himself sitting down again with an adorable little girl on his lap. She was wearing her long brown hair in two pigtails and had huge blue eyes. She smiled, showing that she still had all her baby teeth, with the exception of her two front teeth. To top it all off, she was wearing pink. Alucard felt his eye twitch. The insane priest had stopped in mid-attack.
          “Tanta! I wanna teddy bear for Chwistmas!” she squealed happily. Again Alucard’s eye twitched and Ceres spoke up,
              “Thank you for talking to Santa, Caroline. Our head elf will write it down and we’ll do our best to make sure you get a teddy bear for Christmas. Now, would you like a candy cane and a picture?” Ceres question and the girl agreed to going through the picture in return for the sweet treat. Though, she did refuse to leave Alucard’s lap until she saw that Pip had written down teddy bear on a piece of paper. But before she left to join the others, she looked at Ceres and asked,
             “How did you know my name?” Her eyes were almost inhumanly large and innocent looking. Ceres almost felt horrible for what she would say but she did it anyway,
              “I’m Mrs. Claus silly, did you think it was just Santa who knew every little boy and girl?” Besides, the child wouldn’t believe that Alucard had read her mind and gathered her name from it, as well as various things to tease the Paladin with.
After the bravery which Caroline displayed, the other children began to more willingly come to Alucard, who was trying his best to just sit still and not run away from the children, a word he defined as “tiny, living, breathing, germy little things”.  The priest Alexander was still frozen with shock that one of his charges would actually go willingly to an abomination. Because he was in the way, Pip had to move the priest to another room, just incase he came out of his frozen state too early and ruined everything. As an added precaution, Ceres persuaded her master to put the priest to sleep. He agreed after she promised that she wouldn’t interfere the next time they fought.
It took two hours before all of the children had requested their presents of ‘Santa’ who took the opportunity to read the children’s minds for various pieces of information about the priest that he could use for blackmail.  In his mind he laughed maniacally and was careful to do no more than smile insanely due to, not fear, but a sense of apprehension that usually meant that Integra would do something really nasty to him if he messed this up.
                “Okay everyone, that’s it! Santa has to go home now.” Ceres called to the many orphans who all looked at her with huge eyes and sighed,
             “Aawww!” the cried in unison. Alucard was mentally dancing for joy and prepared to get out of there as soon as possible but not before…
            A few weeks later, Anderson had finally gotten over the trauma he had gone through at the mall, just in time for Christmas morning. The priest prepared himself for the usual disappointed faces. With all the traveling that some of the other agents of Iscariot had to do, there was barely enough money to perform a proper nativity play much less get the right presents for all the children. He slowly came downstairs but his pace quickened when he heard various screams and squeals. Could a vampire have dared…?
             But the scene before him was not bloody at all but incredibly joyous. Little Caroline ran up to him, holding a teddy bear tightly in her arms. Anderson stared at the bear in almost horror for it was wearing a very familiar looking hat.
             “Tanta came! He rewwy came!” Caroline squeaked as she hugged the bear even tighter. Anderson then noticed that not only was the bear wearing a familiar hat, it also wore a very disturbing red jacket.
             “Here Father Anderson, I was told to give you this.” Said Peter, who was looking joyfully through his new Bible. Anderson warily took the envelope the young boy handed him and opened it carefully. Inside there were two things, a letter and a picture.

Dear Father Anderson
      To begin with, I wish you a merry Christmas. Now that I have written that, here’s the point. Come near me or my friends with the intent to kill again and this picture will be given and printed on the front page of every newspaper I can think of.
Sincerely,
Ceres Victoria

             Alexander Anderson stared in horror at the blackmail presented to him. It was a picture of himself but like no other picture he had ever seen before. He was wearing a reindeer suit! Complete with antlers and a glowing red nose. In his hoof like hands there was even a bottle of the devil’s drink, alcohol.
Several hundreds of miles away, Alucard suddenly tilted his head slightly towards the window, as if he heard something.
            “Something the matter Master?” Ceres asked as she wondered if her Christmas presents had been received.  
            “Nothing Police Girl, but I think my Christmas just got quite a bit better. Merry Christmas Police Girl.”
              “Merry Christmas Master and thank you for opening those portals for me.”
            “No trouble at all Police girl.”